Snarky Writing — Usually a Really Bad Idea

A friend of mine was talking recently about his efforts to “de-snarkify” e-mails written in extreme irritation at the other person’s actions.  “Snarky”  is a terrific word, short, punchy, and even onomatopoeic –a bit like a sarcastic snort.  The definition of “snarky” on Google is “sharply critical, cutting, snide.” Wiktionary defines it as “snide and sarcastic; usually out of irritation, often humorously.”

We’ve all written a bit of snark:  “If you had bothered to…”  “I am sure you are aware that…” , “I can’t imagine you could have meant…” (when you know perfectly well the person did mean it). The common theme of snarky writing is complete disrespect for the target, which on a practical level is guaranteed to make them angry or defeated.  Of course, if you ever have to deal with the person again, it will not lead to an easy solution to any problem.  Even if you are being snarky in something that a third person will read, like a judge for instance, or a friend, there is still a risk that it will come off sounding like you are the one who is the jerk, not the target of the comment.

It might even be bad for your health if it has become a habit. The post The Snarky Voice in Your Head Is Killing Your Productivity – Lifehacker  has a lot about how cynicism is linked to heart disease, closes your mind to new ideas and experiences, poisons your relationships, and ultimately is unethical.  Worth a read.

But what about when being snarky works?  I did say it is usually a bad idea.

Snarky writing can be very funny when it is used to show up someone who is being a bully.   Two examples were posted this summer on Above The Law (“A Great Response to a Cease and Desist Letter;” and” This May Be An Even Greater Response To A Cease And Desist Letter “) 1.  Both responded to demands that had been written to bully individuals who had not been trying to make money or to hurt anyone.  The second response is much more appropriate than the first, probably because the second response was to a lawyer at a big firm who really should have known better.

I particularly like the breezy style of both.  In the first response, the attorney asks, “so I may properly counsel my client, please tell me what in Sam Hill’s name you meant by ‘anything confusingly similar thereto.’”  In the second response, the lawyer put a copyright notice at the bottom and then wrote “fair use allowed and encouraged.  Actually, go ahead and publish the whole thing as is; we don’t care.”

But, assuming you are not dealing with a true bully, and in the interest of good relationships, good reputation, and good health, you want to de-snarkify your writing, here are a few tips:

Consider whether you were irritated when you wrote it.

If so, are you inclined to roll your eyes, put your hand on your hip, or smirk if you read it out loud?

Eliminate all of the phrases like:  “if you had bothered to . . .”  (see above for more).

Re-write it as if it is to a close friend who has made a dumb mistake. You can point out the error, but there is no reason to be mean about it.

If it’s a letter or e-mail, you can also just delete it, call the person you are writing instead, and ask politely that he or she retract the offending document. If it’s not done, then write.

You’ll feel a whole lot better when you hit send.

1. http://abovethelaw.com/2013/06/how-to-write-a-great-response-to-a-cease-and-desist-letter/